I’m experiencing more nuances to the word “heartbreak” than I knew existed. Learning that nothing I do will ease the weight I’m carrying is terrifying. It’s literally a ton of feelings that I can’t seem to put it aside or discard. Everything is a momentary distraction from how much I miss him. Everything reminds me of him, still. I don’t feel good. I miss him and I don’t see how anything can give me genuine closure. How he feels will not alter my feelings at this pint. His actions might but that’s so impossible. I just keep trying different things hoping one will work. Nothing has so far.